February 14th has arrived! This morning, amid the usual news snippets and links to YouTube videos, my Facebook feed was full of updates like: “Happy Valentine’s Day, no one!” and “I hate Valentine’s Day; it just reminds me that I miss someone,” among various other statements generally bemoaning the event. Whether boy or girl, young or old, single or attached, it seems that Valentine’s Day is a date which stirs up some really strong opinions.
Some people revel in the opportunity to tell family, friends and significant others just how much they love them. Others despise the rampant consumerism that’s forced down our throats by shops, restaurants and advertisements. Some look forward to showering their other half with gifts, yet still more feel pressured to find someone – anyone – to go out with on the evening of February 14th, so that they aren’t alone on what’s considered the most loved-up day of the year.
What’s the problem?
Forget everyone else for a moment – why do you dislike Valentine’s Day? Are you reeling from a bad break up? Do you not love yourself enough? Are your attached friends throwing you pitying glances? Perhaps it’s time to discover what’s really generating your negative view towards singledom, Valentine’s Day, and love in general. Sure, it’s easy to be cynical and sarcastic about the whole event, but that won’t help you feel any better. Time for a little positive reframing, baby!
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” – Oscar Wilde
Think you’ve got no one to shower with affection this Valentine’s Day? Sure you do – yourself! I can’t think of anyone more deserving of your limitless love, unwavering support, and complete and utter acceptance. The hard truth is that until we love ourselves, unconditionally and completely, it is extremely difficult for other people to love us. Make yourself a cup of coffee and sit down to read 10 Ways To Love Yourself Now and How To Love Yourself, Even If No One Else Does.
Love being single
It can be upsetting when you feel like the only single girl in a sea of happy couples, but believe me, you really aren’t! Besides, singledom has its good points, and being single is always better than being in an unfulfilling relationship. Make a list of reasons why you love being single – eating sandwiches in bed, coming and going as I please and lieing in til noon are just a few of the things on my list! Once you start writing, you might just realise that being single isn’t so bad after all.
Make the most of the sales
As of today, bouquets of flowers, pretty underwear sets and massive boxes of chocolate are all on sale – so make the most of it! Buy yourself the luxury chocolate that is usually out of your budget, and pick up some pretty lingerie – no, you don’t need someone to show it off to! Don’t we dress for ourselves, anyway? Grab a bouquet of fresh flowers for your workplace or vanity table – it will make you happy! – and generally spoil yourself rotten. Today is as good a day as any!
Just ignore it!
It’s tricky, but not impossible, to ignore Valentine’s Day. Lock yourself in your bedroom with a big bag of popcorn and a stack of gory horror films. Go for a walk in your local park, with your headphones in and the music turned up loud. Arrange to meet a group of friends, but only if everyone agrees beforehand to not mention, under any circumstances, the dreaded “V” word! Today will pass just like any other, and all the angst will be long forgotten by the weekend.
The more you focus on negativity, the more you will bring it into your life. Yes, consumerism is in overdrive. Yes, there are enough red hearts and chubby cherubs to make even the most enthusiastic Valentine’s Day reveller feel more than slightly nauseous. I hear you on that. But actively hating Valentine’s Day, for whatever reason, is not going to help you at all. Why not expend your energy in a positive way – by writing a list of reasons why you’re a good person, doing a favour for a friend in need, or paying a visit to the nearest salon for a pampering beauty treatment? If you can go against the sneering, sarcastic masses and change your attitude about Valentine’s Day, then perhaps you’ll learn to tolerate – and even enjoy – the annual lovefest!
How do you feel about Valentine’s Day?